Day 30: Your highs and lows of this past month.

- idk i guess i’ve developed a crush on someone i have no chance with
- i’ve had no money all month because i bought the jacket for the cosplay AND IT STILL HASN’T ARRIVED
- the blonde wig has started getting really frayed and it makes me sad because the wig looked so pretty
- for the most of it i’ve had a pretty bad writer’s block
- fanni was away for most of the month and roosa was away for a week as well so i was so aloooneee

+ iida’s birthday party was the most fun i’ve had in ages. (cute boys, kittens, alcohol, playing with a kitten with a cute boy when you’re a little tipsy - i mean c’mon) i got along with everyone so well and i shared so many laughs that by the end of the night my stomach muscles were a bit sore
(+ and y’know, even though i’ve got no chance with him, i still had so much fun hanging out with him)
+ i’ve unblocked my writer’s blocked and feeling as inspired as usual
+ fanni and roosa made it back to finland alive! and it was so great to see them again. and roosa had brought me this really cool flute from greece so that was awesomesauce.
+ i’ve watched great movies 

Day 26: What kind of person attracts you. 

I like people who’ve got a sense of who they are. people with ideas and a voice to share those ideas, no matter what they’re about. being reliable and honest kinda goes without saying - and idk, relationship-wise it’s kinda important that the other person lets me know how they feel about me.

passion, street-smartness, kindness and a good sense of humour are attractive features in a person. being open-minded is always a huge plus as well. prejudice is really unattractive.

when I first meet someone and am attracted to them it’s most likely ‘cause of the way they’re dressed. there’s not really like one specific style that I’m into, but if you’re wearing a nice outfit that somehow sets apart from the boring sweatpants-look, it’s gonna make you more attractive to me. though of course your personality brings way more into the picture: if I like you, I like you, regardless of the way you dress. (I mean look at Alex Day for example - I’m pretty sure no one on this planet dresses in more tacky clothes than he does every day, but watching his videos I don’t even notice the clothes, I’m too busy listening to what he says ‘cause I think he’s cool. even with the clothes.)

Day 18: Your beliefs.

I believe in doing good and being good. I know that’s a tricky concept, but in an oversimplified manner it means that I believe in treating others well as long as they treat you the same (and ignoring them and walking away if they choose to treat you wrong). I know how lame it sounds, but I believe in some general energy flow that keeps this universe from falling apart, and the way we act contributes to that.

I feel like this is also the part where I mention I’m a pacifist? I could never pick up a gun and start killing for my country. it’s just wrong to me.

I don’t strictly believe in anything religion-wise - like there are things that seem to make sense to me, like the existence of souls (and therefore afterlife and reincarnation are also things that I just sort of… assume will happen), but I don’t know. actually, that’s the point: I don’t know. I have no fucking clue what goes on beyond this life, or beyond this world, even, but I’m eager to find out. 

Day 17: Your highs and lows of this past year.

lows:

• I didn’t get accepted to the schools I wanted to get in
• and when I got into Steiner it turned out regular upper secondary just ain’t for me
• which led to me getting semi-regular panic attacks (omg dr4m4 queen!!! ryte)
• um I think I lost a couple friends that used to mean a lot to me

highs:

• at least I got accepted into Steiner! I really love the school, even though it wasn’t for me. and y’know as far as daytime upper secondaries go, it was definitely the best one for me.
• I’ve made new friends
• watched great movies
• finally got over my ex for good
• I’ve learned to look at life in a better way (now don’t get me wrong, I’m still not optimistic ‘cause optimism sucks butt, but y’know stuff about body acceptance and the little things and blah blah blah)
• I’ve written a lot
• I’ve gotten a whole bunch of songs written
• all in all I’ve just discovered new people and things and stuff that have just made me generally a more happy person

Day 15: Your favourite tumblrs.

I have loads, but I’ll just list a few

• probablystilladoreyou
• 148km
• thatswhaticalladeadparrot
• polkkamekko
• lessthornyrose
• threewordphrase

check ‘em out, go go gooo !

Day 14: Your earliest memory.

aahhh man. the earliest I can remember right now is when I was like five and I attended this church club (yes, I attended a club for kids arranged by our local church) and we were playing around to this song and I got to play the part of a watch dog and I thought it was fun. I remember barking on the floor next to a pretend chicken house or something.

I don’t know if it’s even from the same day, but the memory I always link to this is when mum picked me up from the club and I had just finished making this paper rooster for easter and I showed it to her.

so nothing more dramatic than that.

Day 13: Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

I’m planning on moving to London after I graduate - so of course I’d also like to visit it again to get to know the city better before I move there.

even though it’s right next door, I’ve never visited Sweden, so I’d love to go to Stockholm. also I’ve never been outside of Europe, so it’d be awesome to go travel around Asia or America.

I’d just love to travel anywhere, really. I love being in a different culture and getting to know the world a bit better.

Day 12: Bullet your whole day.

I woke up at five, visited my sister’s place to meet her roommate’s new kitten (who was ADORABLE, by the way), ate McDonald’s, watched Doctor Who and logged on

and here I am

Day 05: A time you thought about ending your own life.

uhhh. I’ve talked about it before, I made a major post about it a while back, and I don’t really feel like opening up that can of worms again.

basically the last 3-4 years of my life have been emotional hell and there have been many times during which I’ve thought about or even tried offing myself, but I’ve been lucky enough to get over myself and those issues. in a way it’s kinda sad, but all of those struggles have seriously help me grow into the strong person I am today.

I find it hard to picture myself ever feeling that low again. I’m too realistic for that. I’m a dramatic person but not that much these days - in the past the suicide thoughts were caused mostly because I was over-dramatizing everything and I was “so sure” it would ~never get better, and look at me now.

I guess my point is that those times have made me more mature and way stronger, and even though I can be hard on myself, I still feel like I’m overall pretty happy now. or like, at least normal. I’d make one hell of a motivational speaker, and I think that just reflects on how far I’ve gotten from those times, even if I won’t ever fully recover from any disorder I’ve had.

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

Day 15 - Your favourite tumblrs.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Day 18 - Your beliefs.

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.

Day 20 - How important you think education is.

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.

Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.

Day 27 - A problem that you have had.

Day 28 - Something that you miss.

Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.

Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.